Where I’ve been

Hey gang, it’s been a while.

Do you ever wonder who you would be when left to your own devices, without the direct influence of your friends, your peers, without the shiny new books, the blog posts, and the occultists who annoy you? Me too. So I took take an extended break from occulture to find out. (As it turns out basically the same, I just write less.)

It was all going so well until a bomb landed in my lap.

As some of you know I was raised in a cult. An honest to gods cult, not a group that’s a little kooky, not Christians who are a little bit new age-y or a little stricter than usual, a “the FBI is investigating us and there’s a documentary on streaming services” cult. I don’t really want to spend my time writing about the details of the group because the way I see it, they’ve wasted enough of my energy for a lifetime. Similarly I am avoiding directly naming the group because I don’t want to deal with these tedious self-googling fucks starting slapfights in my comments section.

The tl;dr is that the leaders and many high ranking members of this church have perpetrated sexual abuse on an almost unimaginable scale. The pervasiveness of sexual abuse (particularly against children) in the group makes the Catholic church look positively chaste and it appears the group’s structure was at least in part designed to give predators unfettered access to women and children. I learned that the single minister I was close to and the only member who was kind to me after I left is one of the most prolific child molesters and scammed my family for a lot of money. My family has been in the cult for three generations and while many left after learning this information, many didn’t. Like many cults this one forbids social interaction with non-members so you can probably guess what happened there.

Needless to say, it’s been a lot and dealing with the fallout wore me the fuck down. I needed time to figure out what the fuck this means for me, my family, and my relationship to Christianity. I still don’t know but I think I’m ready to get back on this horse.

So what now?

There will probably be a lot more sabbats than saints around here, at least for a while. The new work I alluded to in my last post (over a year ago, wtf) has mutated into it’s own monster and while it still needs some taming I think it might be okay for people take a peek under the door, so to speak. There will probably be writing on sex magick, masochism, and ordeals in sabbatic craft. I plan to use this blog more casually so that it sees regular use (more like my tumblr was if you’ve been around that long to remember). The shop will re-open in the near future but is pivoting it’s focus. You’ll have to wait and see for that one but I will say I want my shop to better serve my sabbatic sisters and brothers.

Anyways. Nice to see you again internet